Another test where I barely did above average. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is going to be my worst academic quarter. It’s been pretty humbling to say the least; I thought I was in a good position in terms of work-ethic and talent but after seeing my results it’s apparent that I have a long way to go. I’ve learned to be grateful. I’ve always complained about getting 3.6’s, most of it due to the fact that I felt like I was working harder than the grade I received; but now I’m desperate for anything above a 3.0.
It’s also undoubtedly extremely discouraging, I feel like I’m doing a lot more work than the average student yet my results don’t say anything about it. It’s like that one kid who’s life is all about sports but doesn’t even get on the team; the story sounds eerily familiar doesn’t it?
To be honest, all my stories are the same; they’re all recycled over and over again. Get motivated, do decent: talk about how I could’ve done better, do terrible: reflect on my character; nothing’s ever really new. I feel like I need something to turn a new leaf or something; a revival if I must- to break this stale cycle. I’m obviously not satisfied with myself yet I repeat everything: it’s the definition of insanity.
It’s time to take a step-back and and take a deep breath. Pretend that it’s a fresh start and just try to be the best me out there. Block out all the noise and just focus.
Discipline and Grit.
One of my biggest problems this quarter is my lack of discipline and grit.
Discipline has always been an issue for me and it’s been more so this quarter. Combined with the fact that this is one of my toughest quarters it’s no wonder that I’m doing this poorly. I lose focus very easily when I’m studying and try to take too many shortcuts as the quarter goes by; which always bites me in the ass at the last second.
Grit is something new; I’m not really sure what’s been going on. I guess most of it is that I’m afraid of repeating the same mistake of overusing my body like last quarter; which provides as a good excuse when it’s time to actually push my self. It’s getting pretty irritating that my work ethic is going down and as I study with others it’s apparent to myself that I am not performing at my best level.
BIOL 200 is probably the hardest class that I’ve taken so far. Yes; calculus was also a brain tweezer for me but at least in that class I was able to keep up and my results were due to mistakes that I knew. BIOL 200 is just random to me; my scores come out with no real knowledge of what I actually get. My next test is this Friday and it’s to my concern that this might be the first class that I fail despite putting a genuine effort.